Women abuse....

The blog is inspired by this.

The main reason for the continuation of abuse is our attitude that “It is a shame for the girls to say in public that they have been abused”. It is always the tendency of parents to say “If you speak about this, it would be a disgrace and will spoil you future. So you better be careful next time”. It is this silence which gives the guys more courage to do such stuffs. Well to solve this, the issue needs speaking up. When girls are growing up they should be taught how to deal situations when somebody is trying to have their way with them. Girls need to be strong enough to put this off either by words or actions as the situation demands. If you keep quite, guys will continue doing it. It might be quite embarrassing to do something against it. But it needs to be done. Family should be supportive to the girls to stand be for their rights.

If the guys get the fear that they would have punishment (shaming or shuning him off by his own family) in some way, they would not dare to do it. It is the lack of punishment that leads to guys indulging in such things. There are some laws but laws alone are not enough. It has to go beyond the laws. The guy’s family has to play a role in this. When boys grow up, they should be educated that it is wrong to abuse women. I know it is kind of tough. All parents think (or at least want to think) that their kid is a good guy. So he does not need be given any advice on this kind of things. They give advice on each and everything right from way you brush your teeth in morning to the last thing you do in the day. On such sensitive issue they do no talk. If there is need to talk (need comes only if there is some complaints), they do not it in a very sensible way (they just vent their anger). I can understand that it would be difficult for moms to talk on this but dad can do. Very few guys have dad who talk about this to them in a very sensible way. If the thing that “it is wrong to molest/abuse women” gets into their mind and heart, guys would not do any such things.

Many parents think that their wards as just kids and need not be talked about this. By the time parents realise that it is high time that they talk, guys already have wrong ideas in mind. For girls it is worse that they go through lot of stuff and they just want to keep quiet. For parent’s point of view, they are not sure of the right time to talk. But there a lot of stories which teaches about any form of abuse. It is better to start with that. Apart from parents, siblings and teachers can also play a part on this. The only way of solving this is to speak about it rather than sweep it under the carpet.

Valentine’s Day

I don’t know what happens on February 14th. Everybody eagerly waits for this day to propose their love and do all sorts to make their gfs/spouse/lovers happy. To begin with let me make it clear that I am not against love or expressing love. But what makes me think "why do people have to do on this day only?" There are people who wait to propose only on this day. I feel that people have been sucked in to this by big corporates.

To understand something we should know how it started. So looking back at the history of Valentine's Day, there are different opinions on its origination. One story suggests that Saint Valentine defied roman emperor Claudius and performed marriages for his soldiers and Saint Valentine was put to death. Other version of the story is that Saint Valentine refused to give up practice of Christianity and Emperor Claudius executed him. In 496 A.D., Pope Gelasius set aside February 14 to honor St. Valentine. Later, during the middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that middle of was the beginning of birds' mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of February -- Valentine's Day -- should be a day for romance. In those days, people use to give hand written notes and poems to show their love.

Slowly the corporate took over. Marketing strategies came in and bussiness began to make big money. For example, in Japan, 40 years ago their leading chocolate makers started a tradition that on February 14th women are supposed to give chocolates to men in their lives - boyfriends, co-workers and bosses. (In btw it is indeed very happy to know that there is country in which girls spend some money to buy chocolates for guys. I will write a separate blog about that). They call is as Giri Choco - obligation chocolate. Even though the women do not want to do it, they are forced to do it to maintain good relationship. Also everything related to valentine day is costly. Today if you want to buy red roses, you need to pay a lot than its usual price. The list can go on and on (like a Duracell battery).

Right now the hype is so much that it has become a compulsion to give something (also there is restricted list out of which atleast one should be there like red rose) to you gfs/lover to show your love. Even if you have not cared to express it on any other day it is fine. But on this day you should do something. So it brings back me to my original question.

Even though I cannot answer that question, my opinion is that "if you love somebody express it whenever you like". Also the gesture (words or action or gifts) should come from your heart and you should really meant it.

Being cool and adapting culture....

This post is inspired by a discussion that I had with my friend (Mr.X) and his special friend ;) (Ms.Y.)

At background a Tamil song was singing.

Ms. Y: English pattu edhavdhu erundha poden..
Myself: English pattu edhuvum ella..
Ms.Y: English song ellaiya..ok go to this site and play that song(I forgot the song)..
(Nan oru tube light. Yenaku seriya puriyala..)
Myself: can you repeat which song u want.
Mr.X: that song…u do not know this song…?
Myself:Yennoda rangeiku tamil songe jasthi. Yenaku theruncha English pattu ellam “Baa baa black sheep”, “Jack and Jill”, “Rain rain go away” andha range la ulla songs dhan..
X and Y: Enna!!!!! u don’t listen to English song. Come on. Grow up.

That is it. I got a good lecture on how I should adapt to culture here and what I need to change. But there is one point that they did not understand. It is a waste to advise me. That is a different point.

The main point is “Do we need to change ourselves completely”. When someone gets into a new country with different culture/cultures, there is need to adapt few things like time sense, work culture. But I believe that listening to songs, reading books and all these kind of small stuffs are personal choices. One of the point they made was “If you go to a social event with other people, you need to english songs”. I do not understand why you need to know the song. You can enjoy the song without knowing it. I have done it. If I do not know anything, I have never shied to say it out.

Listening to song is still fine. I have seen people who go on camping or rafting or going to disco just to show that they have adapted the culture or to project themselves as cool people. I do not feel to do something which is not interesting to me. I would try anything once and if it interests me then I would do it again. If not, I would not do it. But I am always being advised I should go along with a flow and “Be roman in Rome”. Then I decided to look around the people here. Most of them do not do something if it does not interest them. Am I missing something? I cannot understand…

Ps: I am still configuring my blog. So if there is some problem in blog, please do let me know. Also comments/suggestions about the blog layout is very welcome.

First Post...

After dragging my feet for very long, i started my blog today. Actually I created this blog to post a comment on lovely blog maintained by capriciously_me. I have been reading lot of blogs and got inspired. The first blog i read was from ferro-prabhu.I read his he-she series. From their I went to some wonderful blogs. After reading thru' most blogs, I felt there is not even a single blog which is bad...so decided to start one to take tht title :). Thristi bombai vendama..

will come back with more imsais